Questionable
by Dawn of Chaos
Summary: Mistake. Is that what it could be called? It should've been me not him. So how do I fix it? Because I need to fix it...do I?


His face always holds a smile. His face is never sullied with a sadness or anger. He's always content or ecstatic. His sapphire eyes are always bright and alive. But that's not what makes my heart clench in misery. No, it's the fact that he looks at _him_ with those same eyes. It's that he smiles at _him_ with the smile that'll never fade. It's the fact that _he's_ the one making him happy... not me.

My face is a mask hiding my misery as I watch Sora run through the water, splashing his way over to his very first boyfriend, Riku. Tanned legs crumple as a wave rushes in and his brunet spikes are all I can see above the frothy water. I stay seated on the sand beneath the umbrella though, knowing that Riku will get to him first. Pale arms dip beneath the water and hoist Sora back up on his feet, long silver hair layering itself around Riku's aquamarine eyes.

They're perfect for each other in everyone's eyes but mine. I didn't even know that they were a couple until my sister told me. She said she saw it first hand, that Riku just leant over and kissed Sora right here on the beach the other day when I wasn't with them. The thing is, I didn't even know they had gone to the beach yesterday... because no one told me, so I stayed home.

I drag a hand up through my blonde spikes and realize that today must rank as the worst day of my life. A frown stays on my countenance and I can't seem to make it reverse, for all my thoughts stay on Sora. Just when I think it couldn't get worse, Sora runs up the shore and straight for me. Worry seems to bore into me from his orbs of blue and into mine, making me want to apologize for making him feel like that.

_Why can't I just be happy?_

"Roxas ...are you okay?"

_He's smarter than he appears and I know he can see right through me. I can't be fake around him but I can't stop myself from dreaming that he's with me instead of _him.

"Yeah I'm fine. I think I'll head in early though, see you back at home 'kay?"

Sora pouts, unsatisfied with my response. I can see that he wants me to stay but if I do I'll probably loose my mind. My hands brush over my swim trunks before I tousle his spikes, "Don't worry about me Sora, I'll be there when you get home."

He gives a gentle shake of his head, "You'd better be."

I snatch up my jacket off the towel and sling it over my shoulders, zipping it up partway so I don't loose it in the wind. I pat my pockets to make sure my keys and phone are still there before leaving, not bothering to look back because I can feel Sora's eyes staring at me. Part of me wants to stay and be a thorn in their side, just because. But I know that I wouldn't be able to do it, it would make Sora upset I'm sure.

It's just all these words that are screaming in my head. They yell and yell at me; screaming, thrashing, and begging for me to talk to him. Those words ache to be said, to be asked, and to be demanded. I need to ask him...ask him why he left me for _him_. I need to ease the blow and hear it from his own lips, not my sister's.

I drag my hand over my face and sigh heavily. The apartment complex in front of me is gray and worn, not being one of the newer ones that have been newly constructed. But it's the one I let Sora choose and it's turned out to be one of the bests. I slowly climb the stairs up to the third floor and then down the hall to the fourth door on the right. The eighty-eight on the door gleams at me in gold numbers and I reach for the knob only to find it unlocked already.

_I could have sworn I locked it when I left._

Pushing the door open I see the living room shrouded in the light from the television, the rest of the house being pitch black. All the blinds are drawn tight and not even a lamp remains on. After all the horror movies I've watched, I can feel every nerve set on end, just waiting for something or someone to jump out from behind me. However, I walk further in and up to the couch only to see the silhouette of Sora lounging against the material with the remote dangling in his hand.

"You sure did take your time getting home Roxas."

His toothy grin flashes up at me and I can't help but feel completely perplexed. "How'd you get home before me?"

"Well, I saw Axel driving by and I got him to give me a ride home." Soft laughter lifts the mood in the room from mysterious to homely. "You should give him a chance Roxas, he really likes you."

"Trust me Sora, I know. It's hard not to when he's groping all over me all the time."

Sora's gaze shifts back to the screen, a seriousness drawing over his features. "Riku asked me out the other day."

"What did you say?" is all I can ask as I sit down beside him.

"...That I'd have to think about it for a couple days."

"Why'd you do that? I thought you liked him too."

"I do...but..."

Sora looks back to me and I can feel his eyes burning into my skin as he does. I'm shoved against the arm of the couch as he presses his lips hard against mine. All the passion he can muster is pushed against my lips and all I can do is sit there in surprise, not quite sure if this is happening. His hands clench at the jacket on my torso and I can feel the heat of his body after he's been in the sun all day long. Finally though, he pulls back with a disappointment on his face.

"You didn't kiss me back...Why?" he asks, a whine in his voice.

"...Because... you should be with Riku."

_What am I saying? Am I really this...stupid?_

The brunet jumps up from his seat on the couch, rushing to the door in a flurry of emotions. "Wait! Sora!" His fingers still on the doorknob, shoulder's hunched and back still towards me. I smile at the tanned skin of his back, comfortable with only seeing that at the moment. "If it doesn't work out..." The words seem to freeze on my tongue while I try to get them out before I lose the courage to talk.

"Yeah?"

"...I love you Sora."

His head bows as his hand opens the door as he goes to head to _his_ place, to see if his feelings are right. "I... I think I love you too Roxas."

"Hurry back safe."

"I will."

* * *

><p><em>Honestly? I don't know what just happened. I think this was more ramble than one-shot. xD<br>Boy do I need to finish kicking this cold. . Ridiculous where my brain wanders._

_Song (which I recommend that you go read the lyrics to fully comprehend this): _Learning to Fall_ {by}_ Boys Like Girls


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